Being a little pretentious

First I want to say, that you can go here and get a website or a desktop ticker that scrolls the latest amber alerts.  You could possibly help save a life.  Also, you can report missing persons there and get posters.

With that being said, I guess I can continue with my intended post.  Let me think a minute. (We all know how my train of thought hits the junction, wide open and breaks into many segments). Oh yeah, I was going to blog about “ME”! (imagine that). Talk about me and my impending rise to some sort of wide-spread fame. I know, I know! And, I laugh at me, way more than you ever will, about my silly notions.
Where’s my spotlight? Did someone not pay the power bill? Does the bulb need replacing or what? Come on! If between one and two million people gather, and countless others watch on TV, to see the president be sworn into office and speak, and Honey Boo Boo has a show, there certainly has to be a spotlight for me! (Hopefully, not featured on America’s Most Wanted or anything like that, but certainly somewhere. Certainly somewhere between, Good Morning America, Ricki Lake, Jerry Springer, Honey Boo Boo, and Svengoolie there is room for me.
I’m no Oprah, but give me a show. I’ll do it for practically nothing compared to the other talk show hosts. Yeah, I need a little piece of the pie. I am in need of some bifocals (it’s nice to be able to read what you’re typing).. I need to be able to finish recovering my roof. Got the front half done. I need to replace some of the flooring in my house. Then, a little to help other people out. Oh sure, there are some frivolous things I would like to have. A couple professional lenses for my Canon Rebel XTi. my drive belt and walking belt for the used treadmill I got from the Goodwill thrift store. I want to take up running and I figure that’s a good place to start. At least that way, if I pass out, it won’t be in public. A whirlpool bath tub in a sound proof room. Calgon, take me away!
Just what is it keeping me from my fame? Is it because I am somewhat antisocial? (I’ve been working on that). Is it because people think I am ugly? Is it because I am a poor white 40 something woman with Native American ancestry? Because one of my front teeth is crooked? What? Would you let any one of those things keep me from being what ever I could be? Photographer, journalist/reporter, author, game/ talk show host, a founder of a non-profit charitable organization or just your friend? Well, would you?
Celebrities are just people after all. Regular ordinary people can be entertaining. Surely, you know some people in your town that you enjoy watching them do what they do. How they speak, how they act or how they react to other people and situations can be entertaining. It’s like the gong show around our little town, like ’em or not there’s always another act waiting to step out.
Well, you can love me or hate me, but if you ignore me, I will ride back and forth in front of your home, around the clock, revving up my Harley until, you come out and talk to me, invite me in or pay me to go away. If you pay me to go away, I will go kayaking, camping, or maybe go to Big Kahuna’s if I get enough from you to be able to do that. You could come along if you wanted to.
I feel I am busting out of my antisocial shell. Now that I have gotten older, it doesn’t really matter to me so much that, I am not a blonde haired blue-eyed bombshell, that I weigh more (a lot more) that a runway model or I don’t wear name brand clothes. All that ain’t what really matters, it’s what’s in our hearts, it’s our actions not our words, it’s what we do for others, it’s those things we change or those things we keep from changing. Judge me if you must, but take time to know the facts first! I am beautiful on the inside and I am going to find as many ways as I can to let that beauty shine through.
Don’t worry Jay Leno and David Letterman. I am pretty sure your jobs are not threatened by me. But, don’t be surprised if you see my non dancing self pulling a muscle dancing before a taping of Ellen or you see me and some of my wacky friends making fools out of ourselves with some shenanigans on the Jerry Springer show. Going to find that spotlight somehow!
So with my thumb to my ear and pinky just above my chin, I mouth the words, “Call Me!”


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