Dearly beloved, We are gathered here today to say farewell to a woman who died as she lived, with a fast food sandwich in the hand on the steering wheel and a cup of soda in the one on the gear shift without ever swerving into on coming traffic.or rear ending anyone.
As you are well aware, she was a very loving and compassionate woman. She cared deeply for both humans and animals alike. Her witty sarcastic humor, she never wasted on those who would be offended. She only shared it with friends, family and others that would both enjoy and appreciate it. Her love for animals and courtesy toward her fellow man was evident even in her final hours.
Of course there was some regret present- If she wouldn’t have swerved to the right to avoid killing a squirrel she wouldn’t have spilled her soda which caused her to accidentally pop the clutch sending her vehicle into a tale spin down the sidewalk and total out a delivery truck and demolishing a small side walk fruit stand.
She would have died alone that day if not for a fed-ex van blocking the sidewalk so those three homeless people, a prostitute, a blind-man and his seeing eye dog couldn’t successfully retreat from her out of control vehicle. She might have survived the incident if it weren’t for the full oxygen and acetylene bottles she was transporting back after getting refilled for a friend. Being the courteous person that she was, she waited until after all the other had passed away and she saw the squirrel watching all the ruckus going on from a small tree across the street. She smiled with relief that she had successfully avoided the squirrel as for the people she taking with her, it could have possibly been an act of kindness as well. Three people are homeless no more, the blind man doesn’t have to stumble around in darkness anymore. The dog is free from his leash and no longer a slave to the man. The prostitute is walking streets of gold!